Nothing Beats IM-ing An Old Friend
by SilverMoonGrimm
Summary: Nico and Dean have a talk about girls; Now, a debate on pie; my getting hyped up for Blood of Olympus tribute. Second and a half in the 'Ain't Nobody Quite Like 'em' series, but you don't need to have read the rest to understand this one. Rating for two swear words.
1. Nothing Like IM-ing an old friend

**Hello! Third in the Ain't Nobody Quite Like 'em series, but you don't have to read the others to understand this.**

**Okay, so I haven't gotten to read the Blood of Olympus yet (I'm so excited for it!), but as soon as I can do that, I'll try and figure out a way to add to this series. Please no spoilers in reviews!**

**Setting- Sometime between series for Nico, and in As Time Goes By (season 8) for the Winchesters.**

**Notes- I mention a chan chu. I spent almost half an hour trying to find the name of this one monster. I failed, and found this in two seconds. I'm sorry if it's not accurate, but I heard that it's some sort of three-legged poisonous toad you bait with gold coins. Please correct me if I'm wrong.**

**This story didn't really end up where I planned for it to go, but I hope y'all like it anyways. I love writing Nico and Dean friendship!**

**Please enjoy and review!**

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**Nothing Beats IM-ing An Old Friend**

**by SilverMoonGrimm**

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"And now everyone thinks I have a crush on Annabeth- which I do _not_, by the way- except for the Romans, obviously, who have no idea who Annabeth is."

"I thought Annabeth was Roman. The Pray-to-her girl."

"No, _Reyna_'s the _Praetor_. Annabeth is one of the camp counselors at the Greek one in New York. She's a daughter of Athena, so she can't be Roman. Remember the-"

"I remember. Brain child. Do you think she has a belly-button?"

Nico rolled his eyes. "She has a boyfriend, so don't get any ideas about finding out."

Dean raised his hands in surrender on the other side of the mist. "Just wondering! and don't be so defensive, Mr. I- don't- have- a- crush- on- her- even- though- I- just- went- on- about- her- for- hours."

"I told you- I don't! I don't even like-" Nico quickly stopped himself.

"Don't like what? Blondes?"

"Nevermind. Where's Sam? I thought he was getting you guys some pie."

"Taking Grandpa Winchester out for a drink. Long lost relative kinda just stepped out of our closet with evil Lieutenant Tamara Johansen, a Knight of Hell, right behind him and told us we're legacies to a secret order of the ring. Long story. Don't ask."

"Because that would be completely out of line after I just told you my life's story."

"Which you willingly volunteered!"

_You have one minute left in this conversation. If you wish to continue the call, please insert another drachma._

"I'm out."

"You're _out_? I just gave you a bunch of them!"

Dean cringed. "Well . . . it really wasn't my fault, but we were tracking a chan chu and we needed something to bait it. And then it turned out to be a whole family. Sam was freaking out because he didn't think we'd have enough gold. I didn't tell him where I got them from, though. Probably thinks I've got some sort of pirate stash hidden away."

_Thirty seconds until this connection is terminated. If you're going to continue talking, please hurry up and pay._

"Gods, I can't be wasting all this money on talking to you."

"Which wouldn't be an issue if the stupid hippie goddess would accept quarters."

Dean flinched as a golden coin was flung in his general direction. Thankfully, the goddess accepted drachmas and it didn't come flying at him through the spray of the water faucet.

_Thank you for using Iris Messaging Services. Your conversation has been extended for another ten minutes._

"Please tell me you didn't try and IM me using quarters."

"If you would just carry around a phone like a normal person-"

"-And set any monster in a five mile radius on me the second I dial."

"Oh, come on! If I can get Cas to work a phone, I'm sure-"

"No. The last time I used a phone, it was four-year-old me using a dial-up to talk to a grandma I don't even remember in Italy."

"Then It's decided, kid. Phone usage is a basic skill every kid should know. And every adult."

"No, it's not decided. And don't call me 'kid'; I'm technically, I'm older than you."

"Actually, I spent forty years in hell, plus 33 . . ."

"Seventy-three." Nico supplied. "And I'm ninety-three. I win."

"So I should call you Old Man, then."

"Dean."

"Sorry, Gramps."

"Dean!"

"Wow, I thought people were supposed to mellow with age."

Nico scowled. Honestly, sometimes it felt like he really _was_ the older one. Dean had the maturity level of a five-year-old.

"Be serious please. I don't know what to do!"

"About what?"

And the attention span of a five-year-old, too.

"Annabeth! She acts like I'm just some cute little lovesick puppy."

"And you want to show her you're a strong, romantic man. Well, I-"

"No! I do not have a crush on Annabeth."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"I'm just saying, if you do have a crush, I've got to give you some very different advice."

"I. do. not. like. Annabeth. Chase."

"And so you want her to realize you don't like her."

"Yes!"

"Easy. Go out with another girl. Not a too hot one, or else she'll think you're doing it to make her jealous, but hot enough because you're going to have to go out with her."

"But what if I don't want to go out with another girl?"

"Then you need to quite denying that you like Annabeth."

"I don't!"

"Then ask someone out. McDonalds, the movies, wherever. First girl that walks past."

". . . Fine, I'm sure that'll work out excellent considering the only girls who walk by my room in Hades' palace are either goddesses that are most likely my stepmom, and cleaning harpies."

"Go to the Greek camp."

"What if she's really old?"

"You're ninety-three, right? I doubt anyone's going to beat that."

"Or an Aphrodite girl? They hate me. And the Demeter girls. And the Demeter guys."

"Make up some shit about wanting to start fresh or having a secret crush or something. Girls love secret crushes, as long as you aren't creepy about it."

"What if she has a boyfriend?"

"First _single_ girl that walks by."

"What if she has a boyfriend and I don't know about it? I'm not exactly in the gossip circles, you know."

"Quit making up excuses! Just asking someone will help you to get over Annabeth."

"Except I was never on Annabeth."

"You're still stalling."

"What if she's homosexual!" Nico blurted.

"Uh, do you think that's likely?"

"I don't know. Maybe. It's a Greek camp, isn't it?"

"Then find someone else. I don't know. I'm not an all-knowing genii."

"What if I'm homosexual?"

"Uh . . ." Dean sat silently for a second, trying to find something tactful to say. Tact was not his strong suit, so this went on for an uncomfortable while.

"Dean?"

"Um, do you think that's likely?" He asked, repeating his earlier statement slightly softer.

Nico avoided his eyes. "I don't know. Maybe. I mean, it's a Greek camp."

"Great time to come out, Gramps. You could have told me that a couple minutes ago and it wouldn't have been half as awkward."

Nico blushed, still looking practically anywhere but at his friend. "I just thought . . ."

"What? I'm going to send you to hell? Hell's for soul-devouring demons, not teenagers with crushes."

"But Cas. He's an angel."

"Who risked his life, died way too often to be healthy, and fell so people could do what they wanted. Somehow, I don't think he'd mind."

The boy gave a small smile.

"Nico, have you told anyone about this?"

"What?"

"Have you told any of your friends about this?"

"I . . . you're my friend, right?"

"Tell them."

"What? I can't!"

"Why? Because they'll laugh at you?"

"I don't know! What if they do?"

"Then fuck them! I mean, not literally."

"I know. But, what if they don't like me, or are all weird around me? I mean, you wouldn't have said that 'not literally' thing five minutes ago."

"You'll still be the same person you were before you told em. I was just adjusting to that. I'm sure they'll understand. If not, call me and I'll come down there and set them straight."

"Geez, thanks." Nico said sarcastically.

"What are old friends for? Now, next time I see you, you had better have at least five foot two more area of closet space."

"I'm five foot four."

"Even better!"

Nico laughed and Dean smiled. The kid was joking again, something Dean always marked as a victory.

_You have one minute left in this conversation. Again. If you wish to continue the call, please insert another drachma. If you want to talk on forever like a pair of teenaged girls, please insert more than one drachma at a time because I have much better things to do than bother you two every ten minutes._


	2. Homemade Pie

**A/N Hello! So, I love these two guys so much I decided to continue this! I'll update every once in a while, but it won't be regularly (sorry!). I may take take suggestions, so feel free to submit some. Also, I now have tumblr! I'm apolloniathesaintofdentistry on there if you feel like checking me out. **

**Enjoy!**

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**Homemade Pie**

**by SilverMoonGrimm**

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"Bye Nico!"

"Bye Hazel."

"See you tonight! And do not skip out again, you need more friends."

Nico rolled his eyes. "Somehow, I don't think the son of H- of Pluto would be anybody's first choice."

"Maybe you just need to try more. Have you ever thought about that?"

He smiled at her innocence. "Maybe."

As soon as his sister left the room, a haze of mist appeared in front of him. An iris message! Generally, there was only one person who Iris-messaged him.

"Hey, Dean."

"Guess what." The physically older one looked oddly excited.

"What?"

"Guess."

"No."

"Guess. What."

"Fine. Did you meet a girl?"

"Nope."

"Did Hell freeze over?"

"I wish, but you'd probably be the first to know."

"Did Sam bring a dog home from the pound?"

"No way."

"I give up."

"Pie!"

Nico raised an eyebrow. "I need more than one word."

"Cas."

Two words worked fine. "You threatened Cas into eating pie?"

"I didn't threaten him!" Dean said, indignantly.

"So Cas just came up to you and said 'I want pie'."

"He ate it of his own free will. After I told him exactly what to do to him if he didn't."

"I see."

"Hey! Apple pie is the best food in the world! I'd be punishing him if I didn't force him to eat it."

"Cas doesn't care about this stuff- he doesn't even have taste buds. Besides, everybody knows dryad-made brownies are the best."

"Just because he doesn't taste it, doesn't mean he can't appreciate the . . . uh, texture. And no way are fairy-made brownies better than apple pie!"

"Right. texture. Because when I say I was a slice of pie, I want it for the slimy, gooey _texture_. Cas doesn't even like pie."

"Like brownies are any better! And Cas does too like pie. why else does he eat it?"

"Dryad-made brownies always have a perfect mixture of gooey and solid, unlike pie that drips everywhere and somehow has you ending up with half of it on your face and not in your mouth. And Cas only eats pie because it makes you happy."

"Brownies are boring. You just shove a piece into your mouth, chew it, then swallow."

"So, like most food then."

"Pies are exciting! You can smell them baking, taste it piece by piece, shove it into someone's face-"

"But it's such a waste! A brownie, you get all of it, but pies drip and smear on your plate and you don't get as much."

"At least it's better than getting crumbs everywhere."

"Crumbs can be easily brushed off, unlike whatever you call the gooey pie stuff."

"You mean deliciousness?"

"Ha ha," Nico sarcastically replied.

"Brownies all look the same, brown and muddy."

"Right, just ignoring all the chocolatey goodness that it exudes right down to when you first see it."

"Pies exude awesomeness right down to when you first smell them, which is even before you can see it!"

They bantered back and forth like this until they one of them figured out a way to finally settle the matter. Their process basically went like this;

Nico cried, "Ask anyone at Camp Half-Blood and they'll tell you brownies are the best. Except Percy, but he's just weird like that."

"So Percy would agree with me, then." Dean countered.

"Percy would choose his mom's cookies over anything."

"And if that wasn't one of the options?"

Nico proceeded to shrug. "I honestly don't know. Probably brownies."

Dean grinned. "Has he ever tried the brownies?"

"Uh, not that I know of."

"So you go up to him and ask which one he likes better."

"What? Why?"

"He's an unbiased source. So that way, when he picks pie, you'll know pie is always better than brownies."

"No way. And he'd obviously pick brownies."

"I guess they'll be no way to tell."

Nico sighed. "You still have some pie?"

"Yep."

"I'm on my way."

With that he waved a hand through the mist, disappearing from view until he appeared out of the shadows in the motel room Dean was staying at where the man was preparing a slice for his friend. Nico grabbed it and prepared to shadow-travel away when the hunter grabbed his hand.

"And how do I know you'll tell the truth about who won?"

"I swear on the Styx I'll tell the truth about the winner. Which will definitely be brownies. Happy?"

"Go. The pie's getting cold and I am not giving up a slice for no reason."

The demigod rolled his eyes and continued on his way. Since it was summer, Percy would most likely be at Camp, so that's where Nico headed, arriving at the cafeteria. Only a few people were there, loitering from lunch and probably trying to procrastinate going to next activity (Nico always dreaded Greek History). Grabbing a couple brownies, he slid a bit off into the fire, muttering a quick _whoever the god of desserts is, you know brownies are the best, right?_, and hurried over to the lake where Percy was most likely to be, probably instructing some newbies in canoeing.

"Percy!" The black haired demigod looked up, surprised.

"Oh, hey Nico." Thankfully there wasn't actually a class that he was disrupting.

Nico cleared his throat. "Hi. So," How did he explain this? "I have some pie and brownies, and I was sort of debating with a friend about which was better." Percy looked at him somewhat blankly. "And we decided you could decide."

"Okay, so you brought me dessert and you want me to tell you if it's good or not."

"Yeah."

"Okay, then." He shrugged and sat down in the canoe. "Can't say no to free desserts." He took a bite from each, and then another. And then another.

"So?"

"Hmmmsphf?" Percy asked, mouth full.

"What's the best dessert?"

The son of Poseidon swallowed, taking his time. "The best dessert is obviously blue chocolate chip cookies. Hands down. No question."

"And then after blue chocolate chip cookies . . ."

"After? There's no after! It's just blue chocolate chip all the way down."

Nico rolled his eyes. Oh well, Percy would have probably picked pie anyways.


End file.
